meh to everthing

So an another bitch to add to the list of them all. I am so sick of my ergo and eng. project. Its doomed to fail. I am sick of being positive. no matter what i do no one will be happy with it. I am fucking sick of it. it i could light all the paper on fire i would. I don't want to go home. I will just be shit on more about why my design is crap and the engineering by how it would fail. I think jumping of a building would be a hell of a lot better then that. I am annoyed as hell havening to deal with everything. The ergo end is shit never going to get the dame manikins done. I am sick of everything. I guess i am worthless as a designer cause everything is doom to fail. so much for my dreams i dout i will get there. cant even design one fucking project with it not blowing up in my face. I am sick of everything. My break will be doing work being shit on learning how great my sister is. Just like last year. What am I doing nothing to better the world. I should just drop dead. To bad i am to weak to just end it. Ya people would give a fuck but I am sick of everything. I can sit and watch as my long term relationship falls apart cause I am not around. Sure its all my fault why not. I am sick of no sleep or my food being stolen. The only design project i have is annoying the hell out of me. I am sick of trying to track shit professor down. To have them tell me i don't think your going to get it done. I would FUCKING get it done if you made it to your fucking meeting. My drawing has yet to get better. I am debating withdrawing and find a shit job. I feel worthless maybe because i am. I can work hard but nothing gets done. All it ends up worthless shit. I don't think any one would really be suprized if i just say fuck it and didn't finish it cause its crap to start with. any way if i go on with my crap design i am sure it will be crap. Everyone else will better I am sure. I can spend more time and still end up with shit. I could have picked a simpler thing but no pushed into something else. I really would rather die. So what if got into hong kong maybe they did take whatever would breath. my portfolio could have shit maybe and they would have taken me. I think life is a waste. I will never be good enough. I am sick of trying pretend it will all be right in a few years. cause it wont i will be stuck in the same shit again. I doubt any company will want me again. Another worthless degree. College is the fucking same ever wear. i think the condcending french guy is right i am shit for a 22 year old he what 28 or something geting his dr is design or what not. ya I should feel worthless. I am crap to ever one a home i dout its diffrent here. I dout people here would notice it i drop dead. It wouldnt make a diffrent them one less seat one less annoying student that is shit. I can work hard and still get nothing from it. life seem to repeat its self no mater where i go. I guess i am really worthless. to spend time to write this i should be shot. I wouldnt hold againt anyone if they did. I just bitch and life doesnt get better. but i put on the fate smile for everyone. Sure i am happy I am just as worthless as before. I dout you would care it I wasnt. FUCK it i just going to go back to riping myself to peice cause its some sick enjoyment and no one can do a dame thing about so fuck off the a shit fucking world.